i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
PANTIES FOUND
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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