i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
