was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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