come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
