I booty called her while she was in labor.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
