remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
