Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
