she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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