i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
