yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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