Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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