so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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