don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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