His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
