totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
