Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
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