what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
