so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
