Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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