Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I just want to make out with him forever
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
