break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
