Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
