I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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