So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
he puts the penis in happiness.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
