she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
