Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
