She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
