The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
