Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
