I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
