i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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