I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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