my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
