i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
