I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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