"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Randomize
