Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
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My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
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Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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