Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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