id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
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You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize