I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize