We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize