Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
