after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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