I hate all girls vehemently.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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