i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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