Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry DasOstrich hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(410): View more from Maryland

Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha

Fav 1 1453 804
share tweet
(239): View more from Florida

When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.

Fav 19 6405 1175
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(773): View more from Illinois

well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.

Fav 19 6447 1520
share tweet
(518): View more from New York

he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.

Fav 63 7110 2490
share tweet
(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.

Fav 8 3986 1207
share tweet
(360): View more from Washington

Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?

Fav 16 3538 2381
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(941): View more from Florida

We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.

Fav 5 3185 1086
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(248): View more from Michigan

I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.

(810): View more from Michigan

We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.

Fav 0 795 664
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(772): View more from Florida

i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered

Fav 1 39 11
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT