ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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