I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
