great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
