i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
