I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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