just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I smell like Dick and happiness
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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