I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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