I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize