Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
no you cant smoke seaweed
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
