i think my tv is drunk
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
