My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
