do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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