did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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