Whoa Z and x make the same sound
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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