How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm sobbing to NWA
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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