In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
How naked do you want me to be?
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