Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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