you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
This baby is an asshole
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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