Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Randomize
